Chris came back to the club last season after a long term sabbatical and is a very welcome (re)addition to the squad.  An exquisite player of the late cut, Chris is a steady and reliable run accumulator.  Chris does his fielding inside an invisible and impenetrable bubble.  At least I presume he must, such is the infrequency with which he receives the ball when fielding.  Poor fella must be bored to death half the time.

Chris has a scorching dry wit, a talent for cooking, and a brilliant coffee-making machine – which is operated expertly by his young son (without pay) at Chris’s famous brunches.  Don’t get stuck in the pub one-on-one with Chris.  You’ll have a brilliant time, but will end up going home 3 hours later than intended.